|What can we do to give more Live Abilities |
to avoid trouble and trauma
Yes! It sure is!
The brain LOVES new things.
It can give a person a high to shop.
Shopping can be like a drug.
Granted it is safer then Crack, but in some instances it can put a person on the streets, just the same as other drugs. Kids with FASD often have this problem. They don’t understand money. They can’t do the math. They don’t honestly think about responsibilities such as bills etc. They can spend and spend and love doing it.
Eyes see and fall in love.
Impulse control is often not there.
They buy. They are not keeping track of their spending.
Wow, could this be dangerous?
If your kiddo or young adult with FASD, cannot manage a budget, on their own, then they often can’t manage their spending on their own.
So last week Desi decided she wanted to have a debit card. She wanted to be like other “Adults”. We went to the bank and got the card, but I was unsure how this was going to work. It didn’t really. She already over spent what she had to spend.
I had asked her to keep receipts and add them up in her calculator. I really felt this would be hard for her and it would take organization skills that she doesn’t have. I went into the bank account online tonight. It happened. I texted her not to use the card again until next paycheck. She is upset. She wanted to buy food for dinner on her work break. She texted me back. “So what am I going to do about food?”
I texted back. “Pray”. :) I am not trying to punish her, but if I allow her to keep spending, her money for bills is gone! She can eat at home when she gets off work.
If I give her all her money that is above her bills, she will spend it all in one day and have no money to purchase food. No thought is taken about emergencies, or other needs, before the next paycheck.
So now at least, I take the food money out and hold it for her until we hit the grocery store.
WOW! Our kids with FASD need an exterior brain for this!
They can’t remember what they spend their money on, as memory is damaged. They buy on impulse without thinking about the price, budget, or if they need to pay a bill, or buy groceries.
A credit card looks like free money to these kids. I am not sure if we are going to be able to keep managing with this card, but I won’t give up trying to teach her how to handle it. She hates that she can’t be like other “adults”.
Jon gets disability and he has a part time job. I manage his disability and pay his bills with it. He manages his job money and he has to purchase groceries with it.
He had some savings because he wanted to purchase a car. I don’t feel comfortable with Jon driving, but I have helped him try and save for a car. This week alone he has taken 260.00 out of his savings. For what? Oh one night he wanted a new tattoo. Two days later he decided he needed cash because his employment credit card was empty.
Today he called me and asked for 60.00 to lend to a friend who promises to pay him back in 24 hours. Right……. I gave it to him though, as when it is gone, no car.
I asked him if he really thought he would get paid back and he said. “YES mom, this is my DUDE”.
Right………..Bottom line, our kids that are FASD effected have great trouble manage money. They are lacking in memory, organization skills and have little impulse control.
This is brain injury. I never say never, but if someone wasn’t helping them, both would be living on the streets.
OH and one more, SO important thing!
Did you know that shopping is an antidepressant?
Loads of people do RETAIL THERAPY. It gives you a high, adrenaline rush, to get something new. Our kids are trying to feel good most of the time. Doing Retail therapy on a credit card can be very addicting. Our world is full of people who have huge credit debt from this antidepressant.
Adrenaline is a pretty potent drug of it’s own. We all know adrenaline junkies. It makes you feel good. Anything that will produce an adrenaline rush can be potentially addicting for our kids.
Even acting out can produce an adrenaline rush. Oh my, I touched on a new blog subject.
Just sayin’. Our kids need their exterior brain to keep them from starvation and the streets. Keep in mind that they are about half their age emotionally. So my two are ten year old’s.
Could a ten year old manage a budget?
Not! a ten year old wants every thing that they see in the store and on TV. If we gave our ten year old’s a credit card??????? OMG! Imagine the damage? lol. They don’t understand about the price of things. They just see the item, want it, and buy it. This is how our kids often think.
Lord help our kids, to always allow their external brains, to help them.
Help them to find other ways to FEEL GOOD that are healthy!
Also keep them from the temptation to steal, which also can become like an adrenaline drug to their brains.
Thank you Lord!